self love

Hello everyone, this is going to be more of a personal blog. So if your not interested you can stop reading....NOW!

 a few years ago I went through a heartbreak. After the heartbreak I got inspired to become more religious and closer to God because that is where I found my inner peace, I started wearing hijab, I started doing stuff that I LOVE, spent more time focusing on me and became fully in love with ME! Ive become like a magnet, I loved myself so much that everyone else around me was automatically drawn to ME. Ive head several men head over heels for me, ready to marry me and so on but I was too busy loving myself, doing what will benefit me.  It took me over two years to fully get over and move on from that person that I THOUGHT I love.

 He was an a amazing guy, very attractive he was half Moroccan, caring and all of that BUT he had this side to him lets just say wasnt the best--and I wont go into detail because its not fair to him. I had the best and worse days of my life while I was with him! But the worse part was he was extremely emotionally abusive to me. I have never felt so low,  and there literally hasn't gone ONE day without us fighting. It was crazy. 

At the time of the breakup it got really really bad to the point that he was abusing me more than ever, using profound language and making me feel more like crap. At the time, I couldn't see the plan God had for me and thought that I was completely devastated, I felt that my life sucked so bad. But what I know now that I did not know at the time was how wonderful, stronger, experiences I would come out of that situation. I've become a better person and humane being on on levels.

  EVERYTHING in life, even if it seems pointless is there to HELP you. He was there as a teacher to me and as a person whom taught me that I needed to make my standards higher, that I needed to love myself better, to have more self worth, to respect myself. And this is exactly what had happened. So, now looking back I am extremly happy and grateful for that situation, I seriously seriously seriously would not change ANYTHING if I could go back and do so. It was an amazing experience, lesson and something that I've benefited from for a whole life time and I am glad that I was able to go through that in the course of my life.

After being hurt and all that, I just want to say that I have been contacted lots of times from this person trying to come back into my life. Claiming that is now different and is grown up and is not acting like the little kid that he was before. And that he wanted to marry me and I'm the type of girl he would see himself with for the rest of his life. It was all rewarding and nice to hear this from him, but it was just a little too late and I have been super changed. Hes been trying to be back with me for 2 years + now. Last time we spoke was 6 months ago, though I never have time for him it is NICE to know that my crying and telling msyelf one day he will regret it over and over again DID actually come true. So ladies, please please please LOVE YOURSELF! repsect yourself, if you are going through any type of heartache have the love and respect for YOU to just walk away and reconsider your life. focus on you and everyone else will be coming to you, trust me! I am here for anyone who wants any advice or just wants to talk. I'll happily answer any questions you guys might have about what I wrote about, theres so much more but I dont want to take your time and keep you reading so I will end it at that.

LOVE YOU.

XOXO-SL